> >> >>WOMEN'S ENGLISH
> >> >>"Yes" = No
> >> >>"No" = Yes
> >> >>"Maybe" = No
> >> >>"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
> >> >>"Do what you want" = You'll pay for this later.
> >> >>"We need to talk" = I need to complain.
> >> >>"Sure....... ... go ahead" = I don't want you to.
> >> >>"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
> >> >>"Be romantic, turn out the lights" = I have flabby thighs.
> >> >>"This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house.
> >> >>"I want new curtains" = and carpeting, and furniture, and
> >> >>  wallpaper.....
> >> >>"I heard a noise" =I noticed you were almost asleep.
> >> >>"Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
> >> >>"How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're really not
> >> >>  going to like.
> >> >>"Is my bum fat?" = Tell me I'm beautiful.
> >> >>"You have to learn to communicate." = Just agree with me
> >> >>"Are you listening to me?" = [Too late, you're dead.]
> >> >>
> >> >>MEN'S ENGLISH:
> >> >>
> >> >>"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry.
> >> >>"I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy.
> >> >>"I'm tired." = I'm tired.
> >> >>"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex
> >> >>  with you.
> >> >>"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex
> >> >>  with you.
> >> >>"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with
> >> >>  you.
> >> >>"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with
> >> >>  you.
> >> >>"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!
> >> >>"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle
> >> >>  you.
> >> >>"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological
> >> >>  trauma are you going through now?
> >> >>"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
> >> >>"I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex?
> >> >>"I love you." = Let's have sex now.
> >> >>"I love you, too." = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now!
> >> >>"Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a
> >> >>  deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
> >> >>"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have
> >> >>  sex with other guys.
> >> >>